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January 11th, 2008
We have a strong ability for denial. Especially when it comes to our age. It hadn't even occurred to us until recently that we have grown old. But alas, that day has come. While at a friend’s house over the holidays we perused a friend's Playboy—the first in a few years. Who the hell is Kim Kardashian, and when did the average birthdate of a playmate fall on the release date of “The Lost Boys”? And it gets worse. While having a drink at a bad airport bar (is there any other kind?) right before a recent flight, we noticed the music ... and we couldn't believe it. Still in denial, we felt compelled to point out to our young waitress that maybe the “La Bamba” soundtrack wasn't the best thing to play at an airport bar. The blank stare on her cherubic face said it all. She had no idea who Buddy Holly or Ritchie Valens were or how they perished. At that point we would have been surprised if she knew who Lou Diamond Phillips was. We are officially old. Happy 2008? Riiiiiiiiitchieee! |
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Portland Picks: |
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| 1 | This One's for the Ladies You do everything you can to procure chicks (or retain the one you have). We know it. You know it. The job, the car, it's all for the ladies. So why is it you skimp on the clothes? Here's what you need to do. Drop the polyester blends and get with some cashmere, some silk, or some fine merino wool. Textures are important to ladies, so get something she'll actually want to touch. Here's where you do it—Patrick James. Family owned since '62, they offer classic labels like Robert Talbott and Joseph Abboud alongside a few labels you might not be familiar with like Viyella, Hiltl, or their own private Patrick James label. They also have the largest selection of Allen Edmonds shoes in the Pacific Northwest. Offering everything from cufflinks to made-to-measure suits and on-site tailoring, they have what you need to look sharp. Here's the bottom line. The nice stuff feels a whole lot better than the cheap stuff. It feels better on you. Best of all, it feels better on her. And that's really what it's all about. Isn't it? Patrick James |
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| 2 | A Paradise, Indeed Vino Paradiso is chock full of virtues, starting with the most fundamental for a restaurant: the food. While the menu changes monthly here, adventurous but never pretentious dishes abound from starters to entrées. But what really elevates the experience is the wine pairings. Co-owner/sommelier Timothy (of Pink Martini fame) is boldly unconventional in some of his choices but with consistently excellent results. When we ordered a plate of Salumi meats and didn't see an Italian red we were skeptical, but the just-sweet-enough German Riesling was the perfect compliment to the spice and salt of the cuts. We were sold. After all, a truly excellent sommelier should take the time to find what elevates their menu the best, period. The ample windows in this funky space along a pedestrian thoroughfare in the Pearl makes it perfect for people watching, and the atmosphere inside is conducive to good conversation. While great for a long-term couple, it's also an ideal place for a first dater looking for fun while trying to avoid a too-intimate setting and all that that implies. Vino Paradiso |
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| 3 | Top of the World, Ma Ask Granddad about life nowadays and there's no doubt he'll claim that men aren't as tough as they used to be. He might jab an arthritic finger in the doughy folds of your midsection and chuckle at your soft hands and hair product. You may lack his grizzle and blotchy WWII tattoos, but you can one-up the old man with your newfound wilderness and mountaineering skills taught by the experts at Timberline Mountain Guides. Based in Bend, Timberline Mountain Guides offers mountaineering, rock climbing and expedition trips throughout the Northwest and beyond. Whether your aim is to learn how to tackle a multi-pitch ascent at Smith Rock or bag the 11,000 foot peak of Mt. Hood, these guys will make sure you're equipped with the stones to do so. For about $300 apiece, you and three buddies can enroll in a private mountaineering trip through glaciated peaks or steep rock climbs—learning the ropes each step of the way. The guiding experience is so thorough that you'll end the day feeling like an expert yourself, at least enough to impress Granddad. Timberline Mountain Guides |
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| 4 | Ground Control to Major Fun Remember back in the day when you would go to the local arcade and spend hours playing Dig Dug or Mortal Kombat? Now you can relive those glory days of video game madness only with a beer in your idle hand. Besides boasting more than 90 video games and pinball machines from the 70s, 80s and 90s, Ground Kontrol provides other forms of entertainment including live underground music performances and DJs. Staples include Tronix, featuring electronic music artists from around the Northwest, and Reagonomix, 80s electronica, new wave, and other obscure gems (always free). If you still haven't had enough of an 80s arcade fix (i.e. you're not in a video game-induced seizure), hit up Ground Kontrol's store where they sell old-school Nintendo, Atari, Colecovision, and Intellivision consoles, games and accessories to take home. You can't be a kid again, but for a few hours you can lose yourself in the games that shaped your childhood … or at least have a beer and a few laughs. Ground Kontrol Classic Arcade |
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| Wine of the Week: | |||
One might consider it a dilemma getting a quality South African Wine down your gullet while at the same time supporting both the local economy and AIDS relief in Africa. But not if you can get your hands on some Bob's African. Splitting his time between Stumptown and South Africa, Fat Barrel Wine Co. owner Bob Lynde donates 10% of sales proceeds to African AIDS relief because "you can't live there and not want to do something." While we recommend procuring them all, trust us and start with the Shiraz. |
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| Mandatory Gear: | |||
| 1 | Speaking the Same Language After some time spent in Manchester a while back, we found that some habits of the Englishmen stuck with us. Not surprisingly, nothing of the culinary variety. But we found that they rightfully swear by King Of Shaves products. From shave oils and moisturizers to brilliant (and unnoticeable) mattifying products, it's everything to keep your mug in fightin' form, and even with the flailing of the dollar, very affordable. We were so grateful we're considering telling them about dentistry. |
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| 2 | Record On Ask most men and they'll tell you that the TiVo and HDTVs are among the best inventions in recent years. Unfortunately, a 100-hour capacity DVR dives to a mere 20 when the content is HD. The answer? Try these boxes by weaKnees. They've had their hard drives replaced with mammoth ones and have even been re-warrantied. Lots of options are available, but we recommend the big boy unit with over 144 hours of hi-def storage at your disposal. |
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| 3 | Just Off the Top of My Head... One of our favorite winter garments is the black cashmere sweater. Unfortunately, the cold weather also means exposure to forced hot air which will dry the scalp, causing a nice layer of flakes to collect on said garment. The quick fix? Try these brushes from Ace. The man-sized unit has copper bristles that put an end to about 90% of the fungi that cause dry-scalp and dandruff, making it easy to part with an unwanted winter guest. |
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| 4 | Not on the table please You have to set that cold beer on something, right? Try these personalized coaster sets; simply choose your theme (golf, billiards, etc.) and the company will grace them with your moniker. Each waterproof coaster is around 4"x 4" on a high-quality cork base, just like the ones your favorite uncle had in his basement. Only these will clear up any confusion as to whose house it is when the cards are dealt next poker night. |
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Hip Happenings: |
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| 2 | It's Time for a Cooking Class Take a cooking class! Chef David Bloomfield of the Hall Street Grill will prepare low-fat, nourishing, wholesome and tasty dishes in this info-tainmenty class. Quinoa salad, grilled seasonal veggies, grilled chicken with grape-tomato relish and more. Sit back, relax, sample the food and enjoy a glass of wine as he demonstrates … the recipes are yours to keep. What: Dacor cooking class with David Bloomfield |
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Cut and Comfort You know how a haircut can be relaxing? Throw in a beer and neck massage and you get the King's Cut at HairM. It's one of many things that they offer, making them the best a Portland gent can get. First timers, mention PPFM for 50% off your services! Who loves ya? What: Mention PPFM and get 50% off at Hair M for first-time visits |
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| 4 | The Who, Who?
If you like the fuzzy guitar sounds of Cream and the swagger of the Stones, get down to Tonic Lounge next Friday to check out Royal Houser. Portland's own funkified fuzz rockers will be supported by uber-rythmic indie outfit the Crash Engine and the Foo-like thrashers Inazan. A little something for everybody. What: Enjoy Good Times at Tonic Lounge |
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| 5 | Wine and Dine at Salty's Salty's on the Columbia will be pairing five special courses with wines from Oregon's King Estate, a family-owned, organic winery. Feast on Lamb Osso Buco, Chocolate Walnut Meringue Torte and more, with a great view of the river. The food is good, the wine and conversation flow -- you'll have a great time! What: King Estate Wine Dinner |
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